EXIT WOUNDS: Towards A Middleway!

"To learn is to change. The path to enlightenment is in the middle way!”

                                     ~ Siddharta’s reflection on the “Middleway” when speaking to the aesthetics.

Anne Wimberly is clear on the human story when she states, "We humans live an evolving narrative, or a story, that forms from the storied world around us. Life as a story is eventful. It is not static. Our lives have a past, a present, and a future in some place and in some circumstance. Our lives move on" (Soul Stories, p. 3). 

As I complete yet another academic degree in a higher institution of learning, I cannot help to reflect on my journey. Seminary has indeed been one of the most challenging disciplines of discourse that I have engaged in. I have been stretched, challenged, pushed, pulled, questioned, shaken, shifted, and jilted. I had to even bend and break with the blind assurance that I won't stay broken. And all this for what? For a call, an inkling, a feeling, a mystic encounter that I believed moved me towards a higher purpose in my life. All part of the process towards enlightenment, and indeed I have been enlightened.

I have been in the wilderness. I have fasted, prayed and meditated. I have searched for meanings and truths. I have pushed backed against what is considered to be normative and the status quo within academia, church and community. I have taken a spiritual quest towards truth and enlightenment, no different from that of Siddharta and Jesus. And so now, as I sit in the very last class session of my seminary journey, I find myself engaging in various interfaith practices that is different from what I was accustom to, yet it got me to the very place I wanted to be at the end of the day. A place of acceptance, a place of love, and a place of compassion.

A brief overview of my personal journey:

My belief in God was birthed out of a struggle. From birth it seemed that everything had been a struggle. I struggled to come out of the birth canal that nourished me for ten months. So much so that I was a breach baby and my mom had to have a c-section. The only difficult pregnancy of her three girls. I struggled being the middle child having to wear clothes handed down from my older sister, and sharing everything with my younger sister. I also struggled with the realization of who I was and what I was to become both by family and society, because I was a black, Caribbean, female. I had to witness the struggle of my mother attempting to raise her own children as well as my father’s children from previous relationships. I struggled with relationship dynamics amongst members of my family. I struggled through school with my identity and wanting to fit in, and for the most part I was successful by suppressing who I really was. 

Also, like Jan  Willis, I shared the struggles between the mother daughter relationship. She mentions in her book Dreaming Me: Black, Baptist and Buddhist, "There is a vast gulf between 'different' and 'special'" (p.326). Willis notes the difference of being different in her mothers eyes and feelings special in Lama Yeshe mind. I can identify with that, because "special means loved for one's self alone, for one's core, which is ultimately pure, wise, compassionate, and powerful" (Dreaming Me, p.326). Not quite sure if mama sees what everyone else has been telling me, but not until now I wasn't sure if it matter since I did not see or believe that for myself. 

It is my belief that God’s children grow and develop in response to God’s call for their individual life that will serve the greater community wherever that may be. Some would profess that they are were chosen for a “higher calling.” Yet a higher calling is not that of academic or intellectual superiority. More so it is of self-realization, spiritual reflection on how one identifies with God and their community, as well as their response with their unique gift of service. Some may have to engage that through academia, church, community, and/ or family. 

                              

Construction...   Deconstruction... Reconstruction...

As I exit the Interdenominational Theological Center (ITC) on May 9th 2015, I understand that the wounds that I have experienced are do to some of the suffering that I have allowed through attachment? Suffering in Buddhism is having unsatisfactory experiences, and nirvana (liberation) is the antecedent towards eliminating such experiences (Buddhism for Beginners, Chapter 5).  The attachment that I came into seminary with an embedded theology, how I view ministry, church leadership, and the church body as a whole. As well as the attachment towards this seminary process of coming in with an embedded construct, to have this embedded construct be deconstructed and now exiting with a reconstruction of the construct that was deconstructed. All of which is essential and leads towards a path of enlightenment, a path towards truth, and maybe even towards a middleway. 

Reflecting on the Christian approach where the faith and practices seems to exist in this binary (good and evil, wrong and right, wicked and righteous, etc), no poses a conflict in my personal walk and understanding of the biblical text and the context in which it was written.   

Currently, I embrace many of the practices of Buddhism, specifically Yoga and meditation. I also embrace the discipline that are found within the Buddhist philosophy and various other faith practices. There are tenants within all religious practices that we can glean from to help us along our spiritual journey. And now that have come to embrace the fluidity of my spirituality, I plan to do just that for a more holistic spiritual development. 

The Gift Of Consciousness: Religiosity vs. Spirituality

References:

Chodron, Thubten. Buddhism for Beginners. Snow Lion: Boston & London, 2001.

Willis, Jan. Dreaming Me: Black, Baptist, and Buddhist, One Woman;s Spiritual Journey. Wisdom Publications: Boston, 2008.

Wimberly, Anne. Soul Stories: African American Christian Education. Abingdon Press: Nashville, 2005. Revised edition.

I'm A Believer: A Buddhist Mind w/ A Christian Spirit

Buddhist Jesus & Christian Siddharta...

The image above reflect two religious figures that represent two different faith practices. The one in the background is that of Jesus Christ, the Nazarene Jew that was crucified as he went against empire. Jesus, who was a black Jew went against his own religious cultural laws and traditions that often excluded those who were poor and marginalized. The other figure is that of Siddharta, the prince who was predicted to become a religious figure or a king and chose the ladder. The irony of the pic above is that these male figures destiny led to a creation of two religious movements that neither one aspired towards. 

Jesus' radical movement gave birth to Christianity and Siddharta's process towards enlightenment gave birth to Buddhism.  Both of these lived experiences moved others towards a path of liberative and transformative path for self and community. Both of them existing and wrestling within the parameters of their own culture and traditions. And both were needing something more than what their religious cultural tradition was offering for the survival of their mind body, and spirit.

When studying religious formation we can find similar theme on something happening within the socio-political, socio-econominical, and/or socio-religious era of the time.  The Christian and Buddhist formation is no different and overtime it has evolved based on what was going on as it began spread and touch various nations throughout the world. Knowing this, I wondered how different our world would be if Jesus was a Buddhist and Siddharta was a radical Jew. Or maybe the world wouldn't be so different?

I have made the argument that Jesus and Siddharta shared in the same process towards nirvana "rebirth" as Jesus went through the period in the wilderness and Siddharta search for enlightenment the moment he leaves his father's palace. Both made some altering shifts in their lives that led to ultimate purpose in life not knowing that there radical shift would move others to take the leap into faith and go against the grain of what they believed they were predisposed to. 

What Christianity has taught ME...

The Greatest Commandment (NRSV)

Matthew 22:34-40

³⁴ When the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together,³⁵ and one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. ³⁶ “Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?” ³⁷ He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ ³⁸ This is the greatest and first commandment. ³⁹ And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ ⁴⁰ On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”  
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+22

To Love Unconditionally.

We say it... We chant it... We proclaim it as the Christian Mantra, but do we really love without conditions. 

What Buddhism has offered ME...

"Meditation is simply building good habits of the mind" (Chodron, 35).

For the past couple of years meditation has been a practice that I engaged in when I needed to relax, relate and release. This practice has helped me manage moments of high anxieties, slow down on my overly busy and daily schedule, as well as when I needed clear discernment. I did not have any consistent routine. I just did it when I felt the need and for me, I believed the need was quite often until I decided to take the 21-day challenge with Deepak Chapra and Oprah Winfrey.

I figured why not? I was in my last semester in seminary school. I just happened to be in a Buddhist class that touched on the subject and meditation, and plus I was already doing it anyway. Not only that, it was lent season and the season principle at church was discipline. In stead of doing the traditional fasting practice that many engaged in during this season, I decided to take the 21-Day Challenge that started on 3.16.15. This challenge was called "Managing True Success."

I took the challenge and I feel successful! 













Meditation is a core value in all beliefs though it is not consistently practice. In the christian biblical text there are many reference to meditation (http://www.openbible.info/topics/meditation).  Yet, there are many conservative christian who rejects the teachings of Deepak Chopra, as he and Oprah take on these various journey of meditation to "create lives filled with increased peace, joy, and wellbeing."I on the other hand, don't agree with the rigid ways of the Western, Euro-Christian faith. Nor does that Buddhist way. 

In Thubten Chodron's book, Buddhism for Beginners, she addresses how to establish a regular meditation practice. Just as Depak Chopra emphasize on what is meditation, she too makes it clear that "meditation is a mental activity" (Chodron, 33). 

Listen to teachings

&

Integrate what we have learned

In a response to a case study, Ronald Y. Nakasone takes on a Buddhist posture addressing the "dharma, or teaching, [that] is only a guide and that he was not an authority." Nakasone goes on to state that "the Buddha urged his followers not to accept any of his teachings without critically examining them. Only if any of his teachings leads to spiritual ease should they be observed and accepted."

Prior to taking a world religion course on Buddhism, and having the opportunity to visit a Buddhist Temple with my professor and peers I was meditating my own way. With no clear teaching on how to actually meditate all I was really doing was practicing various forms of devotion. Chodon mentions that there isnt any true harm in meditating, but still she stresses the importance of receiving true instructions of how to meditate by a skilled teacher. This encouraged me took more in depth into Deepak Chopra.

"We come into this life with  a breath and we leave this life with a breath."   

~ Deepak Chopra

Deepak Chopra, M.D., F.A.C.P. is the founder of the Chopra Center for Wellbeing and is acknowledged as one of the master teachers 

of Eastern philosophy in the Western world. He and Oprah Winfrey teamed up to bring several series of what they called the 21-Day challenge. 

Deepak has been featured several time on the OWN Network in Super Soul Sunday, Hosted by Oprah. 

A HipHop Spin on Meditation

Greatest gift you can give is a gift of consciousness.

Russell Simmons, Hip Hop Guru has taken up meditation as

a way of everyday living and firmly states that he does not

"shit" if he has not meditated for the day.

I want to be BETTER... I want to be AWAKE... I want to be GRATEFUL... I want to be PRESENT

QUIET TIME is important... STILLNESS is critical... STRESS is prevalent...

It promotes HAPPINESS!

What we can learn from our faith practices and others...

I am, therefore we are.  ~ ATR (Ubuntu)

In everything, do to others as you would have them do to you.  ~ Christianity

Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.  ~ Buddhism

Golden Rule was the one universal rule that was instilled in me from gradeschool. I can remember being at P.E. (physical education), and Coach Randy would always layout that ground rule, which was the golden rule. This was done daily as a call and response before we could gather together and play the various sports or athletic activities  and thhe had set up for the day. Yet there was something to this rule that communicating something much greater, and wasn't realized until we actually began to play together.

The Golden Rule offers universal way of engagement and interaction with one another. It begins with the individual first, and moves towards communal. It provoke one to look at life from the perspective of self and what self desires for self, and then makes the charge or implication that this too is what should be offered to others. For the Buddhist it may be to eliminate suffering, for the Christian maybe it's to be loved. Whatever the desire is within our various faith practices this is the very thing that we should offer to others no matter the similarities or differences. 

As a child, this most famous golden rule taught me first about acceptance of self and then of others no matter what. I did not have to agree on how they played, how they engaged or chose not to engage with me in play, but the moment I do encounter them in the playing field I would think on how I would like to play and be engaged in play. This will immediately inform me on how to approach the playing field with various players I would play with and their differences when playing. Yet, at the end of P.E. win, lose, or draw, we would have had an encounter, an experience that would have shift our perspectives. This shifting comes with learning, navigating, experiencing, and playing out life with others as we would like our life to be played out.

Students from the Buddhist: World Religion Course at
The Interdenominational Theological Center in
Atlanta, GA. Spring 2015
Pic taken by Professor: Dr. Maisha K. Handy

Good Friday... 6th Saying of Jesus at the Cross

Why We Must March On...

Fifty years ago the great march on Washington took place for many reasons; jobs, desegregation, fair pay, voting rights but most of all for Freedom.  Freedom was the root to getting all other request heard and addressed accordingly. Collectively a community of people came from all parts of America to join in or to witness this historical event that still has some residual effects on the world today. So why not simply remember this historical day? Why not look at the past 50 years and say we have come a long way, or simply “We’ve come this far by faith?” Why must we march?

Why, because we still have much work to do! In the life and ministry of Dr. King and his most famous speech “I Have a Dream”, we see how a man came to fulfill a mission and died for that very calling. A man who understood his very purpose in life and through his life gave many a chance to live in a world today that was none like the one he lived 50 years ago. We hear in his speech the power and the urgency of making this dream a reality. But most of all we see part of the dream becoming a reality; where today we are able to witness two term of a black family living in the white house and a black man in the oval office influencing the entire world. We see that his dream was prophetic and it has manifested in our lifetime.

This is no different from the life of Ghandi, Garvey, Malcolm, and yes, Jesus— individuals who understood that self-sacrifice was the greatest of all sacrifices in order to give hope and ensure a life for those who would come after; individuals who were not concern about the temporary NOW state, yet understood the act of Now would guarantee a more permanent and hopeful future; individuals who understood that the only way to save lives is to give up their own lives for the fight, for the struggle, for the people.

Our Marching 50 years later are still for all the various reason our elders and ancestor march and much more. We march to say that we have not forgotten. We march to show our gratitude. We march for our children and our children’s children. We march for the injustices that continue to plague our community today. We march for Treyvon, Oscar, and Emmet. We still march… we must march for freedom!

By marching this upcoming 50^th anniversary of the March of Washington we are saying, just as Martin said that we too have dreams as individuals and communal front. We want are dreams to be heard and we are willing to make sacrifices to ensure that are dreams come true. So we continue to march until this victory is won. 

What's Going On?

So I haven't blogged for an entire month, and Monday will be April 1st. So much has happened, and is happening. I landed the job at FedEx that I initially did not get but another position opened up, and I was given the offer. I took it in a heartbeat and I am not juggling part time work with a full time graduate coursework.
Next, I have been pushing to host the second open mic event on the campus of the Interdenominational Theological Center. That in itself are some challenges when it comes to funding, yet I am still hopeful. I am actually exploring outside venues in Atlanta that may want something like and open mic/ talent showcase on a more consistent basis.
Also, spiritually I have had some experience in my personal life that has me questioning religion and how people and myself "do church". That will be a blog in the very near future. I have joined a church and may already be considering canceling my membership... "Ugh... That sounds so wrong." That too will be discussed in a future blog.
Lastly, I have a school girl crush that makes me feel like I am in grade school all over again. The last time I remember feeling like is about anyone is this one guy in college who I thought we were perfect for each other. Ends up our friendship was worth more then having a relationship that may lead up to us resenting each other "if we didn't make it". Turns out our friendship didn't even make it. I mean we are still cordial but we don't even keep up with one another like we use to... Time & Distance could be the cause or simply life.
Anywho, back to my crush, which I have one more month before it turns out to be the full blown... "I REALLY LIKE YOU!" So far I have written at least 6 poems made up 2 songs in my head and over a dozen dreams/ daydreams/ fantasies. What is it about this guy? Well, I wish I could explain it in just a sentence or a word, but the truth is when this crush begun I barely knew his name. So there really isn't much I can say because I barely know him myself, but my spirit wants to get to know the spirit in him, and I have a feeling they may already know one another. Just waiting for the heart and mind to allow this encounter to happen. And whenever the big guy gives the green light on my happily ever after.
I find myself feeling guilty at times because I feel like I have no business feeling this way and my insecurities would have me believe that it is a waste of my time to entertain some thought that I could possibly be with one that I actually like and he likes me back... MUTUALLY. What I mean by that is this... Most of the guys I have ever been in a relationship with have been hook ups or he like me and I will give him a chance but doesn't necessarily mean that I initially was interested. More like I learn to like and appreciate the person I was with because he showed a deep interest in me.
So now, I am in Miami for Resurrection weekend, and this guy I met in late November has been showing some interest. He is attractive and there is chemistry especially when we are dancing, but he is my ordinary type and I want extraordinary. I want something like never before. I want "the one" and yes, I believe he exist. One made just for me! The only challenge now, is that I must get me right so when he comes along I don't sabotage it, because I do have a recipe for that and the end results seems to be consistent every time.
That's basically March in a nutshell, an hopefully come April I will keep up with my weekly blog.

Some Notes from James Cone visit ITC on 2/20/12

A Reflection on the Cross and the Lynching Tree

10 yrs of research, thinking & writing

I been writing this book all my life... I put my whole being in it... The book chose me... I am still writing it and it will not be finish until I draw my last breath

Gospel of Thomas if u bring forth what it is within u, what u bring forth will save u... What u don't bring forth within u will destroy u... It save me from the meaningless career in theology

I did my best... To do less would be a theological sin

White use Christianity to lynch blacks and blacks used it to survive and resist white

White people discover the cross by the way of the bible... Black people discover the bible by way of the cross

Acts 10:39; lynching of June 2, 1915 (NAACP newsletter), 1st paragraph of text

Hope and salvation vs. White supremacy
Until we can see the cross and the lynching as parallel their will be no liberation of religious church

Paradox... White Christian place blacks on

Where my passion came from
My questioning of this paradoxical

(Is this relevant today?) Jail system... We can lynch people more now then hanging on a tree.

Religion and the blues kept blacks alive... Faith and the blues could not be control by whites

(And the crowd goes wild when he says sit my ass down)

Talk and write out the real concrete world... I say it because I felt their pain ( Baldwin, King, and Malcolm X) basis of theological thinking

I turn to the artist and the poets... Being black and Christian is a paradox... Hate kills the hater not necessarily the hate.

Yet black still love white people... (Do they?)

The deeper the love the stronger the passion... The one u love hurts u... Yet they treat us like dogs... (Really?)

The cross is a paradoxical religious symbols... Absurd claim of Faith

The power in me is greater then the darkness... It bare witness to do things that seems impossible

Reality of love in my own community... I did not have time to wish I was white... Blackness saved me from whiteness and kept me sain (everything black)

The blues was secular spiritual

God is black and is the light in the dark whiteness... (Really)

I am doing it for my mama and daddy who could not speak and I do it for them... To speak the truth!

For people who have been left out in the sunlight of opportunity.

(And what do we do with what we have heard? We become responsible for what we experience, what we have heard and seen. Though I appreciate Cones sharing his personal views of what he has experience and was able to articulate it in text... I am not sure if the text offers any possible solutions to diminishing the the hate, and hurt of our history. In fact I believe if brings on more tension then resolution. We must begin to move forward, and this doesn't mean we forget, it means we forgive. It doesn't mean we ignore, but it means we embrace. It means we begin to take on responsibility for ourselves and still have room to care, to grow, to love.)

theWORD

What will you do while you are here?

I don't know why people come to seminary and I don't know if all who are in seminary are called to go to seminary. One thing I do know is that while I am in seminary there is more that God has called me to do then to just go to class and chapel. If I am called to ministry and I been doing ministry before I went to ministry school, therefore I should be doing ministry while in ministry school. This just makes since to me as He continues to train me for the Kingdom.

PFTP Moments: When God reveals Himself to me during this season.

I had a moment on 2/27/2013 where the manifestation of the vision that God gave me was made clear in the 1st ever spoken word open mic Xperience which debuted at ITC. I along with Blended Vibe DJ LeShae host a two hour event that was honoring the History of Black History. Everyone that came out to support and graced the mic was phenomenal. Especially, the special guests Black on Black Rhyme.

Thank you Lord for entrusting me with this ministry. I pray that all who encounter theWORD Mic Xperience will find peace and be bless from theWORD that comes forth from all context of life Xperiences... Amen!